Sent this email to the kindergarten soccer team I coach:
I was disappointed in our team’s play Saturday—both positioning and individual displays of skill were sloppy. To remedy these deficiencies, we will begin having additional practices. We will practice twice a day every day except Sunday. The first practice will be at 5:30 AM, and the second practice will be at 6 PM. For the morning workout, your child does not need to bring a ball; we will focus solely on conditioning. For the evening practice, your child should bring a ball and ankle weights. In addition, I would like to wish you all a happy April Fools Day.